Aiming for a creative life

I Am Santo

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Be my moon. Be my guide in the grain of dark. I can move with you, baby. We can milk the evening of song and breathe in unison under your glow. There’s home ahead, in the confused tangle of circumstance and failure. Light the way, baby. Find a way to bring me there, naked, palms […]

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One day the color of your soul will catch up to you. And you’ll burn in the fires of hate you deserve. You’ll be wrapped in the yellows, reds and oranges of disdain and the simple pleasures you robbed from trust will peel away skin revealing the black hollow of your desires. There’s no pain […]

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I am the fire king, nourished on tendrils of burning loss. Smoke animating my shuddering presence, I dance to the rhythm of misfortune and scare hope away, tearing into dreams with a carrion-stained beak reeking of swallowed torment. Yet I starve here in the long grass of distant retreat, the days unkind to my crown; […]

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A million fall. Swept up in moments too grand for their tenuous grip on where they’d grown, they catch gusts of passion, take flight, and inevitably tumble. Lost roots, lost security and familiarity, their descent plays against myriad others littering days with the brilliance of chance. Risk is the open heart’s bedfellow, the unregulated beating […]

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To Justin on the occasion of your third birthday. I need to tell you, son: I love you in ways so unique they sometimes frighten me. Your smile sometimes makes my eyes water, partially from pride and partially from a longing to be good enough to deserve it. The way you take in happiness with […]

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Adjacent to useless in the dead of frozen light, a cold slab of granite unworthy of a headstone or the pause for which it was crafted. Mistaken placement, or perhaps context changed, avenues widening as interests tangled, branches extending into the choked gray. Steps less common, grins lesser so, the reaper’s season robs dreams of […]

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There’s something to this. Lost moments reconstructed in artifice. The too hard attempts at bringing beauty to shared moments. Nature is throttled into presence as behaviors are betrayed. No sunrise worshipped, but cathode bleed instead. Crop, edge, burn and tweak the edges of reality until they approximate the simulacrum of fantasy. Greeting card piss, life […]

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Pinpoint eyelight in algae irises. Feral reflexes threaten the calm. Windows bar freedom but dispatch would bring death, so the battle is nature and we sit together at odds; roommates with claws drawn and accepted trust keeping war at bay. Fight or flight, it’ll never be what’s desired. There’s no winning when you were born […]

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I can touch Heaven, yet only believed in Hell. The mirror taught nothing, costumed in a pyre of disdain with eyes vacant of faith in anything but a deserved torment. “Burn,” it would say. “Burn and know you earned this.” And so my soul turned to ash, brittle, flaking. I bled black on every love […]

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Flush with beauty. Sun-kissed, body thriving. Dreams of Heaven’s corridors, so close. So close. Falling. Sought and found. Careening bliss. Hunger exposed, appetite sated. Sweat and breath. Longing. Sleeplessness, worry stones heavy in stomach. Plummeting. Always gorgeous, but failing. In light. In desire. In hope. Failing and upended, dropped into the sky. Passing misty beliefs. […]

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