Dissected by the uncaring eyes of infinite scrutiny, it’s light addiction, a careening screech off binary canyons that hunts for the turned ear, swift validation and the head nod of connection. “Let’s be friends!” each snap screams in a desperate howl, like the cry of a wounded animal at mating season. Let’s mend the hurts of this life of longing, pixelate our desires and accomplishments and drink from one another’s lives in carefully curated streams of candor. See me here. See me there. Look for me and feel the soul twinge as if we were two on a train sitting opposite each other, eyes flitting to avoid staring; pretending we’re not hungry to talk. Hear this voice! Comment on the lines of this face, brow beaten by the course of life, the pains of adulthood and the ever lengthening distance from childhood’s folly and joy, a once careless mind now worn like a badge to paint this fool as still innocent, still silly, still with eyes open and staring Heavenward with wonder. Then it all starts to slip, the tectonic grind of truth sending mountains of fear, jagged peaks of rage, into once carefully maintained skies as if this was an errant God lost to His passions, maddened with the pursuit for nothing so facile as now, but instead wholly lusting for a tomorrow of untarnished compromise, where wires and transmissions give way to the electricity of touch, and the windows that revealed too much are adjacent doors through which another will walk, stand proud upon entry after navigating so much barren fantasy and smile as if here is home. Welcome. This is where it starts. This is where dreams take shape. This is where we are exposed.
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Thank you to @rhilandria who not only inspired this piece through a discussion about IG, but also shot and edited the photo. She is a brilliant artist and it’s wonderful to have her as a collaborator and friend.
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