In the airtight. In the dark closure, where the vacuum siphons life and second hands tick, tick, tick in hours-length rhythm intoning the lowest register, the deep drone of longing and the hunger of belonging. The judgement was passed, the cell drawn closed and yet windows peered not into light, but into a darkness choked with ambitions that once swam in the brilliant glee of hope’s ocean, yet now were stuck in the dark sediment of corrosive worry’s depths, dreams truncated by waking and that sting of realization that there is not here; that the gold sunlight decorating walls is neither anointed or welcome. Burying a head in the sand, eyes jammed closed to sink into the abandonment of tomorrow because yesterday haunts like a taloned wraith pulling at that next easy, quiet moment. When they laugh, the thought is “why not?” Why not sit and let the world spin around with the sun pulling itself up and then dragging the sky into black where rest cordially extends its arms and bows, claims there will be refuge and then drowns everything in an inky pitch that clouds as completely as those old days. Those times, when fists drew blood and spirit with each strike and words sliced deep, like razors sharpened on the dry stone of relentless disapproval. Suddenly the airless world of collapse caves outward, the blue of a reflected need overpowering the battery. Bruises fade. Scars harden. Days lengthen in the warmth of summer and winter’s clutch is pried loose by inevitability. And in comes the air, the breathing, the breach of the surface where the rise occurs without effort, but because time insists on healing. No memory is immune to erosion, the sum of all hurt weathered into fine grains
resting at the bottom of tomorrow’s ocean.
Another collaboration with the incredible @michelleko, one of my favorite IGers. This is her photo, untouched by me, but decorated with my words after she gave me a few with which to start. Michelle’s inspiration and support for whatever it is I am doing here has been of enormous importance. Thank you again, my friend. (at Airless)